1. “Jerry, you stand on the threshold to the magical world of sensual delights that most men dare not dream of.”
– Kramer, in “The Gymnast”

2. “She’s got a little Marisa Tomei thing going on.”
“Ah. Too bad you’ve got a little George Costanza thing going on.”
– George and Jerry, in “The Chicken Roaster”

3. “It’s more like a full-body dry heave set to music.”
– George, on Elaine’s dancing style, in “The Little Kicks”

4. “It’s Risk. It’s a game of world domination being played by two guys who can barely run their own lives.”
– Jerry, in “The Label Maker”

5. “May I have one of those, madam?”
– Kramer, making fun of George’s glasses, in “The Glasses”

6. “I guess I can accept a little Jerry if it gets me a lot of Elaine.”
– Newman, in “The Millennium”

7. “So, what you are saying is that ninety to ninety-five percent of the population is undateable?”
“Undateable!”
“Then how are all these people getting together?”
“Alcohol.”
– Elaine and Jerry, in “The Wink”

8. “Why would I be a leg man? I don’t need legs. I have legs.”
– Jerry, in “The Implant”

9. “You don’t touch the nose. You don’t aspire to reach the nose. You don’t unhook anything to get to a nose. And no man has ever tried to look up a woman’s nostril.”
– Jerry, in “The Implant”

10. “It’s like a sauna in here.”
– Kramer, sitting in a sauna, in “The Implant”

(Evidently I really liked “The Implant” episode)

11. “You know, I faked it.”
– Kramer, in “The Mango”

12. “This is the most public yet of my many humiliations.”
– Jackie Chiles, in “The Abstinence”
Jackie Chiles cracks me up!

13. “I don’t know about you, but I’m getting a hankering for some Doublemint gum.”
– Jerry, to Elaine, after they steal her lookalike mannequin, in “The Pie”

I have to say, I was laughing out loud while compiling this list. Good times…

Today I made myself over into an M&M–so manychoices, so much potential time wasted…
So here I am

Okay, so that’s not really my hair, and I don’t wear a tiara, but the ice cream cone and even the glasses are dead on.

Seriously though…I recently read my first Mary Janice Davidson book. It was Sleeping with the Fishes, and while it was a little short for my taste (and just a little potty-mouthed), I liked it. I liked Fred the Mermaid and enjoyed the story. There was a couple of Acknowledgements pages at the beginning, and seeing as I always read those, this was no exception. In them Ms. Davidson said,

The question that struck me immediately–after ‘Who’s Betsy?’–my current work-in-progress being written in first person, was why? Why should first person be used sparingly? Personally I like it. I like writing it, and I like reading it. I think it adds another level of characterization. You know what the characters are thinking even when they don’t speak, even when the hide their reactions. There’s a sense of immediacy that doesn’t come from a third person telling. I could see Ms. Davidson saying that first person doesn’t work for her, that she can’t keep the internal voices of her characters unique and separate. But she didn’t say that; she made a sweeping pronouncement. So now i’m curious.

Any thoughts, opinions?

This post is for my husband.

We have quite a large closet in our Master Bedroom, but we’ve been totally inefficient at using all the space. So our closet has been a mess since about Day One, which has now been almost seven years. So with The Container Store having their Elfa sale, we decided to go crazy and get organized. Last Sunday we bought all the pieces, loaded up the car with them, and drove it all home. All of it sat on the floor in our bedroom for the entire week, and then Saturday evening my husband decides to get started.

He took everything out of the closet (most of it is now in our living room, which is right off the front hall) and proceeded to remove the rods, shelving, and brackets already mounted in the closet. He hadn’t planned on repainting but made such a mess of the walls getting things out of there that we had to. Then he finds out we don’t have enough paint. So I went out yesterday do get another gallon while he tried to use a Harbor Freight carpet stretcher to smooth out a lump in the doorway.

When I got home he met me at the closet door and told me he’d cut the carpet an inch too short–but that you wouldn’t be able to tell after everything gets put back. We’ll see. So we painted everything and it’s looking pretty good. His finger is jammed from trying to remove the shelving, and his knee is swollen from the carpet stretcher, but he’s eager to keep going.

So he gets out the diagram for our New and Improved Closet and gets to work putting in the support strips and the braces. He goes to put the first shelf, on and it’s too long–evidently his specifications were very ‘tight’. So now he’s going to have to cut a few of them. Out comes the hacksaw, but come to find out, his blade is too dull, and the replacement blades he bought don’t fit. So today I’m shopping for hacksaw blades, and tonight…we’ll see.

He says to me, “I hope this is all going to warrant a blog entry.” I asked why. His answer: “Because it has been way more trouble than I imagined. Me: “And you think a blog entry is going to make up for all that? Him: “Yep.”

So here it is…stay tuned.