This Weekend’s Highlights and Little Ironies

Irony #1: Lent is over. I’m free to eat all the chocolate I want. And oddly, I don’t want any. This is slightly disturbing.

Highlight #1: My kids still like to color eggs! No bells and whistles here, just vibrant color courtesy of neon food coloring.

Highlight #2: We went out for snowcones! It occurs to me now why the line moves so slowly. A (the younger) wanted three flavors, Z (the older) and Butters (hubby–long story) wanted two, and I added cream to my butterscotch. Yeah, we held up the line, but oooohhh was it good!

Irony #2: I’ve been craving a spiral-sliced honey ham for weeks–weeks, I tell you. Now that I’ve had it and the leftovers are staring me in the face everytime I open the fridge, I want nothing to do with it. Guess it’s going into the freezer.
(It occurs to me that this post makes me sound like a bit of a flake, but nothing could be further from the truth.)

Highlight #3: My brother brought me two Meyer lemons, and I plan to make Strawberry Lemonade Cupcakes–Yummers!


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Highlight #4: My mom made me this lovely necklace, and it’s calling out for some lovely [new] blouses to show it off.

Irony #3: I called my grandmother on Saturday to try to convince her to come to our family Easter dinner. She insisted she wasn’t feeling well enough (but she sounded great), so I nudged and prodded her until she was laughing, at which point she said, “Did you know you have the power to change people’s minds?” I was feeling pretty good about myself until the next morning when she informed me that she really wasn’t feeling well enough. So…I may have the power to change people’s minds, but evidently it’s not strong enough to keep them from changing them back.

Neither Highlight nor Irony: Butters informed me that he was having a sharp pain in his lower ribs. He opined that he might have a broken rib, which he suspected had been caused by me. I have no memory of an incident that might have caused this.

Posted in Easter weekend, Meyer lemons on 04/05/2010 05:37 pm | 5 Comments

Poké-Me (that’s pronounced Pokey Me)

As obsessed as my boys are with Pokémon games and characters, it would probably be worth my while to reinvent myself as a Pokémon character and hand out trading cards. My cards, naturally, will be super-rare and the pride of any respectable collection.

So let’s see…

Name.
I hear plenty of names bandied about around here, and when I tire of hearing, “Dude, I’m gonna use my Dialga…” or “Dude, can I trade you my Charizard for your Lucario?” or “Dude, my favorite Pokémon is Chimchar, Dude.” (That’s no typo–there are two ‘Dudes’ in that sentence.) I just bust into the conversation with Pokémon of my own. For instance, “Hey Dudes, what if I trade you my Squimchi for your Tibbiturri?” This results in two blank stares, followed by two eyerolls, followed by some conscientious ignoring.

So name…well, in all honesty, I kind of like Squimchi. I’ll stick with that.

Okay, I’m definitely going to be an HP (I don’t know what that means, but I know it’s good.) Maybe a 120 HP, because the higher the better, right.

Poké-POWER.
Whiplash-wit, a death-grip of a grudge, and a flair with the baked goods.

Weakness. Little boy hugs. And maybe chocolate.

Resistance. Extremely strong. (Not exactly sure what this means).

Retreat Cost. Good manners and a little respect.

Appearance. No tail, no sharp teeth. Or, wait, maybe sharp teeth only when I’m angry. I’m turquoise with fairy feathers and those big girly cartoon eyes…and maybe a zorro mask.

Special Power. I can lay down a swath of frigid uncertainty or lure a smile with some impromptu singing.

I can evolve from a peaceful, playful, fluttery Squimchi to an exasperated, frustrated, teeth-out Squortle if you make the wrong move.

My card is kelly green and edged with glitter.

Posted in Poke-Me on 04/02/2010 01:57 pm | 4 Comments

C-H-O-C-O-L-A-T-E C-R-A-V-I-N-G-S

I confess…I am hoarding chocolate.

Normally this wouldn’t be necessary, seeing as there’s no shortage or rationing going on, but in my current deprived state, I feel like it’s necessary.

I gave chocolate up for Lent almost seven weeks ago, thinking it would be good for me and it wouldn’t be too, too terribly difficult. And honestly, I think I’ve handled it just fine. But lately items keep popping into my head–items I can’t have.

Hot fudge sauce on my vanilla ice cream…
Chocolate chip cookies…
Oreos…
Cadbury Mini Eggs…
Brownies…the brownies alone are a killer.

The list is becoming unwieldy and difficult to ignore.
So I’ve started hoarding. The following are sitting in my house, just waiting out the days till Easter Sunday:

1 pkg of coconut M&M’s–I have to at least try them, right?
1 pkg of Dove chocolate truffles–they’re only around at Easter
1 tub of oatmeal raisin dunkers drizzled with white chocolate
1 pkg of Willy Wonka Chocolate Waterfall Individuals–again, how can I not??
2 pkgs of Girl Scout Thin Mints

I also have a recipe sitting front and center on my kitchen counter: Chocolate Marshmallow Cake with Chocolate Satin Frosting.

At this point I’m just hoping I don’t barricade myself in my bedroom with all my chocolate goodies on Easter afternoon and proceed to wolf them down in a frenzy of crazed withdrawal. That wouldn’t be pretty. I’ll try not to do that.

Posted in chocolate, Lent on 03/31/2010 09:59 pm | 6 Comments
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