Overly Friendly?
There’s a dad I see occasionally when I go to pick up my sons. I walk up to the school through the subdivision where I live and the kids come out the back door. Lots of other parents do this too, and since we’re not all tucked away in our own private cars, there’s an opportunity to chat. Anyway, while I pick my kids up this way everyday, I only see this dad every once in a while–maybe three-four times a month. I don’t know his name, and as far as I know, he doesn’t know mine. Over the course of the past two and a half years, we have gone from polite smiling to casual hi’s to your basic chit-chat. Lately (on the rare occasions that I’ve seen him), he’s given my shoulder a squeeze. You’re probably thinking to yourself that there’s nothing wrong with that, and I’m not saying there is…I’m just putting out feelers. Then today, it was pouring as we both walked up the path. We’re both huddled under umbrellas and he reaches out for the standard shoulder squeeze, and I get a quickie neck rub too. So now I’m wondering: is it just my not so touchy-feely self that thinks this is weird, or is this weird? If it’s not weird, when will it get weird? When he hugs me hello? Kisses me on the cheek? Inquiring minds…
02/21/2008 at 12:42 am
I think any time it makes you uncomfortable it’s gone too far, whether it be a shoulder squeeze or a kiss – cheek or elsewhere. And someone you don’t know well enough to know each other’s names, yeah, kind of weird for him to do that I think. It might be a little awkward but if you let him know that it makes you uncomfortable, I’m sure he would stop.
02/21/2008 at 1:08 am
Yikes….. as a fellow non-touchy-feeley person I’d be feeling a bit weird about the whole thing. Then again, I’m probably not the right person to ask. It does seem a little forwrad to me. Maybe you should take a step away when you see him so he can’t reach.
02/21/2008 at 2:47 am
He’s a creep! Icky! I tend to do a snapped “HANDS OFF, PLEASE!” when guys get all “friendly” like that.
02/21/2008 at 6:18 pm
I agree with everyone on this. He doesn’t really know you and should not be touching you. Stepping back or keeping yourself out of touching distance may give him the clue. If not then I say, just ask him to stop. Tell him you don’t like it or your husband doesn’t or whatever you feel like saying.
02/21/2008 at 6:30 pm
some guys are just more touchy-feely, but this seems odd for someone who doesn’t know you that well. his intentions might be harmless, but you never know. you shouldn’t have to feel like you should put up with an uncomfortable situation.
02/21/2008 at 6:50 pm
I’d find it strange and I’d be a bit freaked out. Erm, have you noticed if he does it to anyone else? x
02/21/2008 at 11:37 pm
i would probably be weirded out by that, but then i’m british!? (we don’t do that kind of touchy stuff in the UK!)
02/22/2008 at 1:39 pm
That sounds a little weird to me. it sounds like he’s upping the ante a little each time he sees you. Yikes!
02/23/2008 at 2:46 pm
What does your husband have to say about this? (I finally got myself able to comment on blogs, so watch out. I’ll probably be here all the time.)
your sister
02/23/2008 at 3:38 pm
He’s definately crossed my boundries!!! (and I’m leaving in the land of three kisses!)
02/23/2008 at 5:15 pm
Yeah, this seems a little weird. What did your husband think? The squick factor for me definitely upped when he rubbed your neck. That’s a creepy come-on, in my opinion.
02/23/2008 at 5:35 pm
I haven’t actually mentioned it to my husband yet. He’s been out of town… I’ll see what he has to say and report back.
02/25/2008 at 7:32 am
I’m basically echoing everyone else’s sentiments. I’m only comfortable with the “hi” stage and the “basic chit chat” stage. The touching stuff seems pretty creepy. Are you the only one he treats this way?