Thursday 13

By Popular Demand…

Thirteen Euphemisms Frequently Employed in Spicy Historical Romance Novels

Ladies First…

1. Center of her being

2. (Velvet) Sheath

3. Silken Passage

4. Moist Petals

5. Womanly Core

Now on to the men….

6. Purple-headed warrior

7. Member (used very tastefully IMHO in U.P.), often paired with ‘jutting’

8. Manroot (this one just gives me the heebie jeebies)

9. Velvet Sword

10. Male potentcy

11. Manhood

12. Promise of Future Delight

13. Turgid Shaft (ick!)

I have to admit, I had to do a little research to find enough to fill the list (I haven’t read too many historicals lately), and although they weren’t the stuff of romance novels, some of the ones I came across were hilarious. A few to remember…’Womb Weasel’, ‘dangly bits’, ‘The Rod of Lordly Might’, ‘Six Inches of Pink Steel’. But there were literally hundreds of these euphemisms. If only all this creativity could be channeled to a greater good…

If you have another good one, feel free to add it in the comments.

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Posted in Uncategorized on 08/07/2007 09:52 pm


  1. Susan Helene Gottfried

    Those are precious, but I agree: let’s channel that creativity to a greater good.

  2. Christine d'Abo

    These are awesome. I love “male potentcy”! I’m not that creative and I think it’s one of the reasons I like writing erotic romance. I prefer being able to call a spade a spade if you know what I mean. 😉

  3. Joely Sue Burkhart

    Oh, man, these are hilarious! Happy TT!

  4. #7 cracked me up!!! =)

  5. Great list. I can’t wait to spring some of those on my unsuspecting (and soon to be grossed out) hubby.

  6. Oh, I love you! That was hysterical.

  7. I always liked “velvet-covered shaft,” myself.

  8. Virginia, like the state!

    I choked on my iced tea when I read Womanly Core! Hilarious! :)

  9. spyscribbler

    “Purple-headed warrior”

    Now that’s one I’ve never heard, LOL! What a visual! (And it’s not a good one, LOL!)

    Happy TT!

  10. So funny!!!!

  11. susanhatler

    Those are hilarious, Alyssa. I can’t believe some of those are really used!

  12. Nancy J. Bond

    Eeeew! Hilarious!

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